ATX!

I arrived in Austin yesterday to news of the plane that crashed into the IRS building two exits from my old house. We drove by last night on the way to eat Rudy's BBQ. The building was still smoldering. What a selfish act to bring someone else into his disgrunteldness. I wish someone else didn't have to die.

On a happier note, I'm happy to be here. Ashley and I went to Chuy's as soon as I got in and then ran wedding errands. I was glad to finally be able to participate in wedding stuff! It's raining this morning so my plans to work by the pool in Ash and Ev's apartment complex was ruined, but I'm waiting to have lunch with Aaron and catch up with him.

I think I was in a funk in Memphis. I didn't realize it until yesterday when Ashley and I were at the Barton Springs mall. Nothing makes me want to go back to Memphis except B. I forgot what it's like to be surrounded be friends and family--people you love and that love you. I think there's a symmetry in "going home." People are like you there. You can find people out in the world that are "like you," but you don't have the same frame of reference. You can create a new frame of reference somewhere else, but this takes a long time. I'm at the age where I'm breaking away from "where I grew up" to my own life. I've been working on what I want to do with that life, but I keep going back to the age-old question (for me) where do I want to live that life? Yes, I love to travel and experience exotic places for more than a week at a time. But every time I come back to Texas I feel something different. I feel it's familiarity. Even though I forget how to get places or certain restaurants, the streets feel familiar, the buildings, the trees. I don't want to have the familiar my whole life, but I like myself here better than in Memphis. I think that says something. The way Texas reflects myself back at me, as if a mirror, is the person I like, the person I want to be.

Lightness of Being

I'm trying to find my feet this week. It's already Wednesday, and I feel I've accomplished nothing. Monday was a snow day. I was able to write some things then. The rest of my week has been eaten by teaching. Teaching is something I must do right now for money, but it is extremely time consuming and demoralizing. I don't feel confident in the material I'm teaching. I'm not getting a masters in composition. I think it would be different if I were teaching creative writing.

What would I do if I were in Texas tomorrow? Have pizza and a beer and watch a movie at the Draft House. Walk around in the woods. Have a bonfire. Try something new but be comfortable too.

I will be there a week from tomorrow! Goodbye snow.

Today was a little rough. My kiddies are tough on my spirit. It's raining so I feel like all of it is washing away. Tomorrow I will be renewed. I will get my eyebrows waxed, I will go to a yoga class, I will go shopping and buy a new sweater. I committed selfish acts today. I baked banana bread. I haven't eaten any yet, but it sure smells good.

Texas: 2 weeks from today I'll probably be sharing fajitas and queso at Chuy's with Ashley! Then we will spend a wonderful weekend in Fredricksburg for bachelorette party fun with Kayla and Elizabeth!

Call Me On Your Way Back Home

Another six hour day spent at school. I like to be busy. Last summer inactivity launched me into depression and anxiety. I don't like to be so busy that I feel like I have no time for my own work.

I've been thinking about recurring motifs in my life and writing:
Bodies of water
Italy
Texas
Oil
Whiskey

Trying to find others. Trying to define others.

If I were in Austin today, I'd go shopping at Anthropologie. I'd get my haircut by Mark. I'd have a breakfast taco at Don's BBQ. I'd go to 4th street and drink.

Things That Happen With Frequency

I keep thinking about circuity. The circle of life. The round Earth. Round-a-bout.

The day after the night I met B, we walked to the river and sat in the dead November grass. We played the word association game. I say a word and you say the first word that pops in to your head and then I do it again in response and on and on.

The Mississippi still runs by our window, swollen now. The sun still sets, splashing a variety of colors about the trees and water and sky. The dead grass is now in a ceramic trough on the window sill.

Winter in Memphis is a half-Midwestern winter. It isn't quite southern and isn't quite Midwestern. Right now, everything iced over from the weekend is melting. Shards of ice fall from trees and roofs.

If I were to go to Texas tomorrow what would I do? Eat Mexican food. Drive to Canyon Lake and sit on a rock in the sun. Take my breath away with the cold water.

Rick Perry = Secessionist

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbWz1RYGE3Q

This is amazing. Part of me thinks it is a little crazy. But I still like it.

Happy Astros Season Opening Day!

I have begun this blog on the first day of baseball which is my favorite day of the year. Right now, the Astros are beating the Nationals in Florida 2-0 in the 7th. I have faith in the Astros this season, as I do every season. Because that is all we can have as Astros fans. Hope in Berkman and Miggy, Hunter and El Caballo to pull through this year. Last year was full of ups and some serious downs, but the slate has been wiped clean and we are beginning fresh like getting in to a bed with just washed sheets.

The Rangers are playing Kansas City. I will not mention the Rangers again unless it is during the Silver Boot Series. Their score is 0-0.

Go Astros!